I never use my Brown Betty teapot for tea. I do love it though so I thought it might earn its keep as a flower receptacle.
This Friday I have to attend an event which I am absolutely dreading.
My daughter's school talent show.
I cannot begin to describe how much I loathe Britain's Got Talent and the like.
I avoid them like the plague.
Dross, dross and more dross is my overriding impression of them, closely followed by superficial, superficial and superficial.
They are banned from our television.
For the last couple of weeks I have been hoping my daughter will return home from school and say she has decided not to enter the talent competition.
This is looking less and less likely.
So on Friday evening I will paste a smile on my face and watch her parade around with two of her friends wearing make-up (of which I strongly disapprove) and a hideous t-shirt from Primark (rabbits wearing top hats).
I haven't seen their dance routine yet but I have made it clear that there will be no suggestive or otherwise inappropriate moves. Actually, I haven't made this at all clear as it is rather difficult to explain exactly what I mean by inappropriate to a very young eleven year old. I'm just hoping and praying. No doubt there will be other performances that will involve small girls gyrating their hips suggestively and singing lyrics intended for grown women.
Ah well, it's all in a good cause.
It will raise money for the school.
A school which my daughter is leaving in a few weeks.
Whatever happened to school choirs?
I'd love to go and hear my children sing in a properly rehearsed choir, or perform some choral poetry or do some country dancing.
I remember doing all of those things at my primary school, we even had a maypole that screwed into the hall floor and we learnt how to dance round that.
Maybe my primary school was an exception, but we put on very polished productions at least twice a year; Toad of Toad Hall, The Wizard of Oz, A Midsummer's Night's Dream and spectacular nativity plays each Christmas. My daughter's school doesn't even run to a carol concert at Christmas these days.
Instead we have this talent crap.
I asked her how long it would be;
'Oh just a few hours'